Dear Thirteen-Year-Old-Me:
I got to show you something today.
Something special.
Really special.
It only took 38 trips around the sun to see it, but hey, the good news is we’re still here! (It will be touch-and-go for you in a couple more years, especially that time with the pills, but you’re gonna pull through. And trust me, you’ll be glad you did … in time.)
Anyway, I know right now you’re knee deep in
that lousy Mississippi town
that crummy house
and those shit parents.
The Sisters are grown and flown – no one left to run interference for you, especially when Louise goes to the State Hospital for shock treatments. Mommy’s nuts and Daddy’s a dick.
I know. I see you.
I also know that you have an unapologetic will, not just to survive, but thrive. You are brimming over with hopes and dreams and fortitude and grit. You’re chomping at the bit to get paroled from that prison, and it’s coming, believe me. In the meantime, you distract yourself with schoolwork and books, and brand new cable television, hooked up to a black-and-white that Grandma watched Billy Graham and Lawrence Welk on before she died. You can’t get enough of MGM musicals from WTBS in Atlanta and WGN in Chicago, and movies on HBO. I bet you’ve watched “Xanadu” with Olivia Newton John at least 20 times!
But there’s another movie you’ve watched even more than that: “Somewhere In Time,” with that Superman actor Christopher Reeve, and Jane Seymour. You’re at just the right age for a schmaltzy romance, and you’re developing an interest in science fiction and fantasy, so the time travel angle is right up your alley.
But it’s much more than that. It’s the Edwardian costumes. It’s the Rachmaninoff. It’s that beautiful hotel on that beautiful island. Each time you tearfully watch the end credits, you swear someday you will go to The Grand Hotel on “Mack-eye-nack Island.” Of course, the journey will take more than merely traveling 1,148 miles.
I know it’s hard for you to believe right now, but everything is interconnected. One thing leads to an inevitable ‘nother. What you are enduring now will spur you to leave home at age 15. (See? I told you it was coming.) Being a smart runaway will lead to educational opportunities, which will lead to law school, law firms, accolades, success, disenchantment, burnout, illness (hey, shit happens) and early retirement.
If someone told you right now that at age 46 you would sell everything and start over in a motorhome traveling North America, you would look at them like they had three heads. But that’s exactly what you’re going to do, Little Girl.
Today as we rode in a horse-drawn carriage toward the Grand Hotel for the first time, we began to cry, not for loss or rage or self-pity or dwelling on the past, but because the present has completed the circle, and you and me, Baby? We are fucking content.
This Post Has 24 Comments
Bravo!!!
I loved that movie too! You are living the dream, baby. Don’t ever stop.
I’m glad you made it there. Thanks for sharing your story.
Wow ! What a trip you have had in your life time and I don’t mean it in the positive initially but NOW how you choose to live . So glad that you are where you want to be (sans health issues) but living past all those issues and excelling as you are.
I talked to you for a moment at the New Orleans RV Camp ground. By the water. Go girl! Keep on keeping on. You are in my prayers and many others. Follow your travels and enjoy your words as you travel on.
You are beyond amazing Ms. Tammy! Thank you for sharing your poetry. (Yes, it is poetry!)
Wow! If I could I would give you a standing ovation and a hug! Not just for surviving that nightmare but keeping yourself sane and then making a great life for yourself.
Love that you found it and her with/wrapped in love and compassion. Brava !
Love your story Tammy…
Tammy you have always been a cool lady and fun to hang out with… I love you and your story and many thanks for sharing.❤️
Its an inspiring story of “you can do this girl” and climbing up out of that childhood wreckage, acknowledging it, getting your shit together and coming full circle, knowing and loving, that you & Moi intact. ♥️🥰
Awesome my friend💕
You are an inspiration! Love the fire in your soul, nothing is going to keep you down for long. You come back up swinging!
Your story brought tears to my eyes and warmed my heart. You’re an inspiration to me, and this post by far is my all time favorite.
You are a superstar! I wish I had your drive when I was a teen!!❤ keep on trucking! When you make it to Tennessee we have 50 amp and h2o hook up!😁
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking, and inspirational story. That little girl did good.
I love everyone of your tales Tammy, this particular one – though was truly extraordinary. I cried.
Having had a long winding journey through life myself, I could relate.
Thanks so much for sharing.
May life continue to be superb for you.
Wishing you much love and grand adventures!
Tammy you have no idea how sharing your life has positively impacted so many others! You are my idol, warts and all…do hope we can meet in person again this year…don’t forget Rick has free full hookups waiting on you with plenty of room for the kids to run free!
Thank you for being brave enough to share what many others keep silent. Your voice speaks for many who cannot. You are a treasure. Safe travels my friend.
Very impressed by you.
My very favorite movie…….You seem to be a very well-adjusted, brave and interesting person. You are More than Enough!
Thank you so much for once again , going deep & sharing. You’re a constant source of inspiration !! Safe travels & be well ❤️
Another amazing, touching post. Feel like I am right there with you on this awesome adventure. See you ‘round the campfire! Always your Sister-Robin in Portland
Wow….so much life in that post. ” MY HEART IS SET ON LIVING”
Bingo!
What a beautiful letter to that little girl. I loved those two movies too!
I thought you were awesome before, but now, I am just in awe. <3