At T minus one week before my every-eighteen-month colonoscopy, I figured it was about time to catch you all up in my current medical condition. (Any of you who care to read the gory details, that is!)

NEW DRUG, NEW CHALLENGES.

I switched from Entyvio to Stelara in October 2018, beginning with an induction infusion, to be followed by self-administered shots to the abdomen every eight weeks thereafter. I would take the first shot in December, while I was in Palm Springs.

On the telephone, setting up my account with the mail order pharmacy, I was abundantly clear, and repetitive, that the medication would rarely ship to the same address twice. While my permanent address is in Seattle, I told the woman to flag my file with whatever electronic means they used to indicate that address would also rarely be the shipping address. I then asked her ship the first dose to a friend’s address in Palm Springs, where I would pick it up when I arrived.

Yeah, they shipped it to Seattle.

Did I mention the drug costs $16,000, and must be refrigerated?

Hey, mail order pharmacy, you have two jobs: 1) Ship the correct medication. 2) Ship to the right fucking address.

I made hasty arrangements to ship the box overnight to my friend’s house, and there was more drama with UPS, but I won’t go into that now. Suffice it to say, the pharmacy reimbursed the cost of overnighting to California (oh yes they did), and I took the shot on time. The February shot was delivered without a hitch. In a few days, I will administer the third shot.

Here are my thoughts so far. I am loving the convenience of Stelara. Going to Seattle every two months for an Entyvio infusion was really putting a hitch in my giddyup, not to mention, it was very expensive.

The infusion was expensive in ways you might expect, like animal care, airfare, and rental car, but it was also expensive in ways you might not consider; for example, while insurance and a co-pay assistance program from the manufacturer covered the cost of the drug except for $5, inevitably I paid between $300 and $500 out of pocket for the nursing care related to the infusion. Now, when the pharmacy ships Stelara, they charge my credit card $5, and that’s it. That’s all. Finito. No other expenses.

While Stelara has been easier on my pocketbook, it does not treat my symptoms any better, or worse, than Entyvio. I still have urgent bathroom trips every single day. Oh, well. You can’t always get what you want, right, Mick?

I still take chemotherapy once a week to lessen the chances of building up immunity to the drugs, and it continues to kick my ass for a couple of days, but now I also take Leucovorin twelve hours after Methotrexate, which helps with my lethargy and somnolence a little bit.

BON VOYAGE, DR. Z

I am sad, and apprehensive, that I am losing my Gastroenterologist, who is leaving the U of W. He has been such a champion and advocate for me for the last four years. The last time I see him will be at the colonoscopy, which is an appropriate ending. (See what I did there?)

MORE FUN WITH SCIENCE

The week following my colonoscopy, I am undergoing a defacography. “Def,” as in defecation. Anytime that root word is used at the beginning of the word for a medical procedure, you know it’s going to be as fun as a barrel full of monkeys!

I won’t spoil the surprise and tell you any more about it now. I figure it’s going to be great blog fodder.